Saturday, September 7, 2013

I Prefer A Disease You Can Sober Up From

So that's a picture of me and my sister and my Dad.  You can take a second and laugh at the awesomeness of my socks, I'll wait.  Now I'll wait another couple seconds as you laugh at the fact I am clearly scared out of my mind at the petting zoo while my 2 year old sister is fearless.  Again, I'll wait.
The tragedy of this picture, as ridiculous as it is, is that I only have a handful of pictures of that guy. 
Dad was not perfect, even before he was affected by HD.  He was an often distant, strict person who should have been way more involved in the lives of ALL OF his children.  Due to whatever the circumstances were, I never met my grandparents because of him.
People tell me that Dad was a much different person before the two great battles in his life.  Viet Nam, where he proudly served and was awarded a Purple Heart, and Huntington's Disease. 
Dad's legacy in my life was profound, obviously, I wouldn't be here without him, but the biggest legacy he left us with, when he ultimately lost his fight in 1996 is this.

Due strictly to family history, and nothing that I have done wrong, I have a 50% chance of inheriting a disease that:
...caused people to be burned at the stake as witches in the middle ages due to the chorea--involuntary jerking type movements that are symptomatic of HD
...will most likely cause the victim to become violent, aggressive, depressed and suicidal--sometimes all at once
...will cause the victim lose the ability to speak and reason
...will cause people to stare at the victim
...will shut down the body and mind of the victim until they are unable to do anything for themselves.
...has no cure
...may be passed on to my children--these children:


Oops, that's Rachel Maddow, wrong picture.  Should've been this one, of my oldest son, Alex:

There's no resemblance.  It was a total and complete mistake. The person responsible for posting the pictures on this blog have been severely beaten.  Then there's Jonah and Carrie:

Who have no celebrity doppelgangers.
A lot of people have asked me why I have spent almost a year of my life trying to get this Concert of Hope thing together and ready for the public on October 11th at the Meeting Place on Market here in Lima.  They've asked me why HD and not something else, something that people know more about, something that it's 'cool' to donate money to help. 
 The people pictured above (well, not Miss Maddow, who am sure is lovely) matter more to me than anything else ever could, and if I could do a small part to help them down the road--if the IF becomes a WHEN--then this fight will be worth it to me. THEY are why I'm doing this show, why I am donating so much time, energy and effort to put together this concert.
 
My sincere hope is that we raise a ton of money for HDSA at this benefit concert, and that we raise a ton of awareness for HD.   The craziest thing is, when in the process of doing this show, people have rudely tossed my fundraising letter aside, I've been told several things by several people that turned out to be not true, and I have had to downsize this show--twice.  However, I have also made contact with a half-sister I only kind of knew I had, and that is awesome to me (everyone say Hi Robin).  I've also learned who my true friends are and know who I can trust, if I ever feel foolish enough to do this show again.  Thank you to everyone who donated, and will donate, and thank you for helping us to realize this dream.  The long, difficult, but not impossible dream of helping those affected--or potentially affected--by HD.
 
I'm sure I'll edit this a million times, but now, 5 weeks out, it's important to make this fight a personal one.  Thank you for joining me in it, even if it's just in spirit.  But come to the show, I promise it won't suck.
 
Here's a good link to the science of the disease:  http://maptest.rutgers.edu/drupal/?q=node/401

Huntington's Disease was called "Huntington's Chorea" back when Woody Guthrie was 
diagnosed with it in 1952. He inherited the deadly degenerative brain disorder from his
mother,  who died from it at the age of 41...when Woody was 15 years old. 
After a brave struggle, Woody Guthrie  succumbed to Huntington's Disease 
on October 3rd, 1967. Two of Woody's daughters have died of the disease as well.

I got this thing called chorea in my head
Wanna walk but I fall down instead
folks say "Woody, he's just drunk again"
but I haven't had a drink since I don't know when
besides...I only drink when I'm alone...or with somebody
My arms felt funny moving all the time
and sometimes my head didn't feel like mine
kept telling myself it was the Ballantine Ale
and them jugs of wine on the writing trail
I prefer a disease you can sober up from

Chorea took my mother so it's been waiting on me
us Guthrie's got brains like them bourgeoisie
if you're not careful you can get lost up there
like a poor man searching for a millionaire

I got more friends than dollars.....but I lose 'em both the same
Sent me to a hospital I opened the door
saw my reflection in their nice clean floor
don't mind seeing someone who looks like me
but I do get nervous when he stares back at me

so I ran...but when you're dizzy you go round in circles
Friends said "Woody it's good you're here"
then they'd slip out the back door and disappear
it's like no quite knowing where you've bled
when you wake up with the sheets all red

I try not to bleed red anymore 'cause they'll call me a commie if I do
A doctor George Huntington....he gave it the name
and all these years later it's still the same
no cure but the patience of the ones you love
and the busy schedule of the Lord above

you can usually count on him....but's he's mighty slow
I'll come clean...it's not fun on the inside
for protections your arms tied to your side
I can hear you and I know what I want to say
but my brain no longer works that way

maybe I said too much already....it's one way to shut me up
If you can't remember how I died remember how I lived
and if you can find it in your heart to forgive
know that the piece of brain that had to fall
never affected my love for you at all
I'm gonna play this thing 'till they find a cure...


Monday, June 24, 2013

Why I do what I'm trying to do

Two years ago, I wrote a very long blog about growing old.  It is in its entirety on my BlogSpot site, but here are the important parts for this blog's topic.

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So today is my birthday. I remember back when that was a huge deal to me. I vividly remember one birthday when I was 12. Being a comic book geek and a movie fan, even at age 12, my friends and I stood in line to see Batman the day it opened. I'm talking about the Tim Burton/Michael Keaton Batman, not the Adam West one (I'm old, but not that old). Anyway, I remember feeling completely optimistic, knowing that the movie was going to be amazing and that the rest of my life was going to be so much better as I got older.
Well, I won't say I was completely wrong. The movie WAS amazing--but a lot has happened since then that sometimes makes me with I could go back in time to tell my teenage self some things.
That was really before I knew anything about money, and the fact that you apparently need it to get what you want and to survive. I didn't know about the pressures of a quota at work...I didn't know what stress the people you love can put on you to do what they think you should do. I was basically a punk kid living for myself.
That was also before I learned too much about sickness, death, and my own mortality. I had watched my grandmother slip away slowly to cancer a few years earlier, but that was my only experience with losing someone who meant the world to me.
Fast forward a few years, and I start to notice things about my father. He becomes increasingly violent toward my mom...his movements become a lot "stranger", and he's not formulating thoughts the way he used to. As I have mentioned in other blogs (possibly the ones I had posted on myspace--ah, myspace...crap, I really am old) my dad didn't really say much to begin with, and I had no idea what was going on with him. I don't remember how I found out, how I learned the phrase 'Huntington's Disease', but I know it took many years off dad's life--oh, and since he had it, your favorite Verizon salesman has a 50% chance of developing it.
Since that realization, birthdays haven't meant as much to me as they once did. Now, when June 24th rolls around...it's like a clock continuing to click down to THE END. I know that everyone dies (except maybe Jason Harris--he's alpha) but my dad left a lot of things undone, a lot of discussions unhad, a lot of things unmoved. As I get older, even though I haven't been gene tested and have no idea which side of the 50/50 I fall on, I get more convinced that my life, especially, is short. My dad never spent much, if any, time with Alex. My dad obviously has never met my sister's kids Jayden and Bryson...and he never met Jonah and Carolina, either. He missed out. These are all great kids that fill the world with hope, love, and silliness (ask Carrie to tell you a knock knock joke sometime).
Right now, Jonah and Carrie are running around like fools in the living room. Jonah has a dollhouse (a MANLY doll house), and Carrie has BennieMinnie and is watching Dora. I want to be around when they get married (when Carrie's 50--she can't date til she's 35), I want to be around to see them graduate college--after 2 years in the NFL, for J-Buggy. I want to spoil my grandkids and send them home hopped up on ice cream like my mom does for my kids.
With every passing year, I realize I have screwed up a lot of things in my life. I have ruined relationships that should have been life long...I have followed my feelings when it made no sense to do so. I have made questionable decisions that have cost me more than I ever care to talk about. When I turned 30, I told Jill that by the age of Jesus (33) I would have lost 100lbs and be out of credit card debt. We have managed to take care of the credit card debt, for the most part, but I am still a fat jerk.
Why am I writing this rambling, basically off the top of my head blog? Well, primarily it's because I want someone to hold me accountable, and I figure if I post this on facebook at least one of the 696 of you will do that. I am kind of tired of the way I am living my life. I waste so much time on things that aren't important...so much worry about trivial things. I am making a very focused effort to change some things in my world.
The first thing I am going to do is make sure that the kids and Jill know that I love them--every day. I can be the biggest, most cynical jerk in the world. I am going to start year #34 with a new attitude. I am going to look on the positive side of things. I am going to make quality memories with my family. I'm not going to be unavailable. No longer am I going to sit on the couch at bedtime playing Angry Birds (or Stupid Zombies--have you played that game? Addicting is not the word, it's like crack). I am tired of being a half-empty type of guy. I need to be more decisive...more than a spectator in my own life.
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Still with me?  Good.  Obviously, the important things here are the HD discussions.  I'm now 36 and I know that dad was showing more and more signs that something was wrong at this point in his life.  I'm not going to lie, it scares the hell out of me.  A lot.  I pray daily that God will somehow spare me the pain and slow, crippling death march that is HD, but then I feel guilty for all those people who will develop it.  I still haven't been gene tested, mainly because I don't know how I would react either way. 
Awhile ago, I was thinking of a way that I could help people in my situation while I could.  The best thing  I could come up with was putting on a concert to raise awareness and hopefully money for the Huntington's Disease Society of America.  So, that's what I'm attempting to do.  For me, it's very very personal.  I know that most of you don't know what HD is or how HD can affect people.  You're lucky in that regard.  So I'm asking you to consider donating to the HDSA Benefit concert (or at the very least, buying a ticket).  Every day, there are strides being made in the fight against this horrific disease, but the fight needs your help.  Stand with me and together we may be part of the last generation that is affected by HD.

Donations can be made here:   http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/paulbriggs/paulbriggssfundraisingpage

Tickets can be purchased here:
https://ticketriver.com/event/7681-concert-of-hope-2013--a-benefit-concert-for-hdsa

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

The King of Random has spoken!

Hey everybody, long time no talk. I know what you're thinking, geez, Paul, I thought you were going to blog more. I mean, you keep threatening that. Well, I think this may be my first attempt at blogging regularly. I feel like I have some snarky, sarcastic, things to say that you all deserve to hear and who am I to deny you of that pleasure? Not really sure what this blog will be about, but it'll probably be a long one since I am currently running the clock out at Radio Hospital before I start working at Sprint.


And there's no one here at my store. No one. Probably the 5 degree air temperature is to blame. Or maybe it's Main Street. Either way, I'm bored blogging, which is the basic equivalent of drunk dialing...but not as fun. Or so I've heard.

I want to say this upfront, if you ever get a chance to work for the DePalma family here in Lima, at Radio Hospital or any of the other businesses, take the opportunity. Tony and his family are great people, who have hired me (twice!) and definitely take care of their employees. I just feel like it's time to move on, and the opportunity to deal with broken cell phones and not worry about a sales quota is too much for me to pass up. I'm grateful for the opportunities presented me, and I wouldn't change it for anything.

There have been a lot of changes since the last time I wrote. I am still trying to lose weight and generally be healthier...but Cold Stone tastes way too good, and so this is creating an issue for me. It's hard, when you've done the same thing for this long, to make the transition to healthier. I'm trying. I don't think that my push to get healthier stops at physically.

Here's what I mean. I have had it on my heart to do a men's Bible study for a long while now. I am by no means a theology expert, just a guy who is looking for people to study with me and hold me accountable. I feel like this push has become something that I am going to be unable to ignore, so please if you are interested in being involved in such a group here in Lima, let me know.

One of my slogans going into 2013 was that I was going to stop talking about doing things and start doing them. I joined Anytime Fitness, and now I am starting the process of putting together this group. I feel like it's time to take back this town, and even though I won't be directly involved in the inner city of Lima anymore, I feel like it's my mission field, and I don't want to lose sight of that.

There were great ideas that Ben Wright and I talked about in the past, about telling the stories of the people in Lima, that have fallen by the wayside because we don't have a venue. This is another thing that I've been thinking about quite a lot lately.

Here are more things that I believe to be true:



1. The same people who vowed that Obama would be a one term President are now mad and saying he isn't willing to compromise. Hypocrite, much?

2. We can't pretend to know the spiritual journey of any man. President, bloviating pastor, or Jason Harris. Stop trying. It's up to God, let Him do it.

3. THE FOLLOWING is a creepy show, and not in the good way that FRINGE was.

4. How great was Peter's "I love you, dad" on the series finale, by the way?

5. Ted Mosby needs to hurry up and meet the mother, already.



Well, that killed 15 minutes...until next time, true believers...